"Is it ok to maintain a relationship with you ex-in-laws after you marriage ends? Even if it upsets your ex?
My husband and I were recently married and are in the midst of working through the challenges that come with blending our families. On my husbands side, his ex-wife has completely severed all ties with her family and does not want the kids see her family. Throughout their divorce, my husband maintained his relationships with his in-laws and does his best to make sure the kids can stay connected to their grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins by inviting them over on special occasions or allowing the grandparents to visit with them on our time. Being widowed myself, I understand the importance of keeping a relationship with my late in-laws because I know my children will only be able to maintain those relationships through me. So, both my husband and I value the importance of extended family and make the extra efforts because we want our kids to know that they can count on their family to always be there for them.
However, this has caused a lot of contention for his kids and their mom because she becomes upset with them for seeing her family and hates that my husband still keeps in contact with them. It's gotten to the point where her family has begun to question if they should let go of their relationships with the kids for fear that it's doing more harm than good. They hate that they're the reason the kids get in trouble. They also worry it's only driving her farther away from ever reconnecting with them.
My husband and I are saddened by this and aren't sure how to move forward. Do we continue to maintain these relationships for the kids (because they love and miss the in-laws!), or are we doing more harm than good by putting the kids in these contentious situations with their mom?"
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Tyler Patrick | "The Wandering Therapist" :
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